January 2012
51 posts
I know it's petty, and I know it's been too long...
but I do. And I still have to check your facebook periodically, just to reassure myself that you are in fact still a burnt out loser living with your mom and spending your weekends getting wasted. I just need to know that I’m still winning. In the game of life, I’m winning.
Revenge may not be the proper motivation, but it’s what’s keeping me going. I will be everything,...
I don't ever want to say "used to" about us.
“We used to date.”
“I used to know him.”
“We used to be in love.”
Today my skinny jeans could more accurately be...
“ill-fitting sausage casing”. Sorry, campus.
You took the strength I gave you,
and you used it to turn on me.
It's not a competition.
I could be happy for your accomplishments if you didn’t always have to present them in a way that made it seem as though you felt you had triumphed over me.
I know you think you're not,
but you really are too old to be acting this way.
TYPE YOUR NAME: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR ELBOW: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR EYES SHUT: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR CHIN: matthewe
SLAM YOUR FACE ON THE KEYBOARD: About 3 things i was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and i didnt know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, i was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him
Unlimited Texting
MOM: WHO GAVE GRANDMA A PHONE AND WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY GIVE HER UNLIMITED TEXTING?! oh god, how many have you gotten? i’m up to 18 in 8 minutes…
ME: i’m up to 25, dont complain…
Jane.
If you get to a point where you really don't know...
take the advice of those who love you.
Don't talk to your higher ups
about your personal issues with your coworkers, aka their subordinates. It’s sneaky and backhanded and makes you a filthy liar when you try to convince your boss that you’ve “always been the bigger person”. Bitch.
It pleases me to see that those who seemed to have...
are now having a rough transition into their post-high school years. Karma pleases me.
I really don't like living in San Marcos,
but when the sun’s gone down and I’m laying in my bed, warm and comfy, and the trains are whistling by in the night, it’s a feeling that almost feels like home.
I know some people really dig slam poetry,
but I’m not one of those people.
I think the proper term is "depressed".
But just wait it out with me and I promise it will pass.
I’ll be back to getting dressed everyday and having a sense of humor in just a little while. Just don’t stop loving me in the meantime.
I wish there were a way to make money being a...
the one thing I really like doing and the one thing I’m really good at.
It felt like we were on to something,
and then it felt like you gave up.
My favorite comeback is to tell people to
“Suck my dick”.
I hate when people
complain that “‘this’ is going on in the world, but nobody even noticed. They’re more conerned about ‘that’ and ‘the other’”. How dare I miss a news article that you found important because I was looking at a diffrent article that I found important. I think it’s great that you (at least pretend, I guess) know so much about politics, or...
When you go out with a drunk,
You’ll notice how a drunk fills your glass so he can empty his own. As long as you’re drinking, drinking is okay. Two’s company. Drinking is fun. If there’s a bottle, even if your glass isn’t empty, he’ll pour a little in your glass before he fills his own.
This only looks like generosity.
“Love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, love me, I’ll be...”
– Invisible Monsters
“Go figure, but Texans seem to be a lot more comfortable around disastrous house...”
Sorry, Mom.
Sorry, God.
Love me.
Nah, you're right, you're right.
You should get back together with him after he’s cheated on you for the fifth time because now he’s done it so many times, he has to have gotten it out of his system.
You’re a damn fool and it’s getting to a point where you sort of deserve all the mistreatment for being so dumb and helpless. “Love” is not an excuse for being stupid and naive as shit.
Your personality doesn't have to be universally...
but you must have a personality.
If I'm out of my bed before 9 AM,
anyone who sees me better run, because the beast has been woken.
Maybe Santa Claus does exist,
but your parents never gave him a chance to give you anything ‘cause they would stay up all night putting stuff under the tree, convinced he wasn’t coming?
It was okay to post statuses about your...
but now that she’s dumped you, suddenly you feel the need to go on extended rants at me about posting statuses ablout or pictures with my boyfriend? Double standard much? Sorry that love offends you so deeply, Ebenezer.
The problem is me.
It was a little you, too, but it’s mostly me.
I get that now.
I have absolutely no regrets
about the way things have gone.
My life is my story.
I get to choose the characters, I choose the plot, I choose how to overcome the obstacles, I choose the ending. I appreciate your interest in my story, but you can’t change it.
If you let me, I'll run.
If you feel the need to follow up your jokes with,
“Just kidding!”, I feel the need to not be friends with you.
My drawing level still remains at the level it was...
Get off my boyfriend.
I’m not stupid, and you’re not cute. Quit disrespecting me and our relationship.
I don't think I could ever be with one of those...
who insists he likes me better in my PJs with no makeup on. I spend a lot of time and money on my clothes and my makeup, so you had better fucking appreciate how good I look when it all comes together.
I don't believe in the philosophy
that everything will work itself out. I believe in inserting myself into my problems and undoing those knots by myself.