February 2012
24 posts
Can't I just be sad
without having to be able to articulate the reason?
You can never go home again.
Once you leave, you will spend the rest of your life trying to recapture that feeling.
(At least, you will if you’re me.)
“I am half agony, half hope.”
– Persuasion
There is still so much I wanted to share with you.
"The people in charge of time."
Taken out of context, I love all the ideas my head can conjure up with this phrase.
It's incredibly unhealthy,
but I just keep hoping you’re going to show up with flowers, or some sweet, romantic gesture, and tell me you change your mind. You take it all back: You love me, and I’m the only one you want to be with.
I know I’m setting myself up for disappointment by hoping you’ll ever take it back.
But I so wish you would take it back.
I'm not really that dense.
It was a joke.
No matter how I tried,
All I could do was love you hard and let you go.
No matter how I tried, all I could do was love you.
God, I loved you so.
I hate people who say
“Loves it!”
Truth be told,
I still don’t quite understand why we never ended up together.
Sometimes I wonder if we're faking it.
If we’re both just holding our breath and waiting for the other one to say that this isn’t everything they’re looking for.
But when I really start to think about it, I get panicky and choked up and my heart starts pounding.
Does the doubt ever go away?
If I ever think that not being friends with you...
I think back to when I was robbed. You texted me asking the details because you and your friends were talking about it and wanted details, and then immediately also sent me a text bitching that I hadn’t properly closed our busting-open-at-the-seams freezer and your ice cream had melted. And then posted a status complaining that your weekend had been just *so* awful and all you’d wanted...
I just want you to love me and to never stop...
But eventually you will.
And the day you stop loving me will be my greatest failure.
I hate exercise,
and I hate dieting.
Isn’t there a way I can eat cookies, Lucky Charms, and pizza for every meal and still fit into my pants?
My boyfriend doesn't look at my tumblr.
Is that grounds for a break-up?
Lol, jk.
“I don’t really read your tumblr.”
– And I don’t really care if you do.
(But I’m betting what you said isn’t really true, anyway.)
I try not to pin too many of my failings on my...
Yes, they sucked, and they pretty much quit being parents when I was 12 and realistcally needed them most, but I really try to rise above it and take responsibility for myself. I am who I am because I made myself that way, and I can be whoever I want to make myself become.
But I do find myself incredibly bitter toward them over one specific developmental failing I’ll never be able to...
If I had a way to know my future,
I wouldn’t be one of those foolish people who insists they’d like to be surprised. I would look at my future, constantly. I’d gaze at it whenever I was feeling stressed or overwhelmed or hopeless. I could live my life. I could breathe easy. I’d do all the work required to get there, and none of the work that would be wasting my time, dragging me down a dead-end path. I...
“There is no shortcut to a dream. It’s all blood and sweat, and life is...”
– Broken Bells
January 2012
61 posts
If you don't like the way I do it,
you’re welcome to do it yourselves. But you didn’t, so I did.
You could have a little gratitude that I even tried to do it. It was in no way my responsibility- I just thought I was being helpful considering it had been a week and you still hadn’t taken care of it. I assumed you were too busy. Or lazy. One of those for sure. But I was sick of waiting.
I love when everyone is listening to me.
I hate when everyone is looking at me.
I will be the kind of mother
that unintentionally embarasses her children just by being her.
I know a lot of etiquette tips are outdated,
but there is still some etiquette you should follow. You can’t just throw it all out the window because it conflicts with the way you want to do things or your specific circumstances.
I still think it's odd and funny
how angry you got at me for going on dates with other guys while you were going to bed with other girls. Such different things. Such different levels of betrayal. Especially because mine was months after our break-up. Yours was before the break-up, and all during the months of telling me you still loved me.
And it’s funny to me that you got so angry hearing I had just gone on a date. If...
I know that someday,
we will have all the things we wish we had.
You
do not get to speak to me.
You do not get to look at me.
You do not get to hit on me, or try to flatter me, or try to make me think that we made a mistake by giving up.
You get to sit in the dark shadows of my past and think about what you gave up while I move far beyond you with someone far better than you beside me.
You get what you told me you wanted.
All I'm saying is,
if you’ve never seen him in the daylight and he’s never bought you dinner, you’re using the term “boyfriend” pretty loosely.
I know it's petty, and I know it's been too long...
but I do. And I still have to check your facebook periodically, just to reassure myself that you are in fact still a burnt out loser living with your mom and spending your weekends getting wasted. I just need to know that I’m still winning. In the game of life, I’m winning.
Revenge may not be the proper motivation, but it’s what’s keeping me going. I will be everything,...
I don't ever want to say "used to" about us.
“We used to date.”
“I used to know him.”
“We used to be in love.”
Today my skinny jeans could more accurately be...
“ill-fitting sausage casing”. Sorry, campus.
You took the strength I gave you,
and you used it to turn on me.
It's not a competition.
I could be happy for your accomplishments if you didn’t always have to present them in a way that made it seem as though you felt you had triumphed over me.
I know you think you're not,
but you really are too old to be acting this way.
TYPE YOUR NAME: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR ELBOW: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR EYES SHUT: matthew
TYPE YOUR NAME WITH YOUR CHIN: matthewe
SLAM YOUR FACE ON THE KEYBOARD: About 3 things i was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was a part of him, and i didnt know how dominant that part might be, that thirsted for my blood. And third, i was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him
Unlimited Texting
MOM: WHO GAVE GRANDMA A PHONE AND WHY ON EARTH WOULD THEY GIVE HER UNLIMITED TEXTING?! oh god, how many have you gotten? i’m up to 18 in 8 minutes…
ME: i’m up to 25, dont complain…
Jane.
If you get to a point where you really don't know...
take the advice of those who love you.
Don't talk to your higher ups
about your personal issues with your coworkers, aka their subordinates. It’s sneaky and backhanded and makes you a filthy liar when you try to convince your boss that you’ve “always been the bigger person”. Bitch.
It pleases me to see that those who seemed to have...
are now having a rough transition into their post-high school years. Karma pleases me.
I really don't like living in San Marcos,
but when the sun’s gone down and I’m laying in my bed, warm and comfy, and the trains are whistling by in the night, it’s a feeling that almost feels like home.